Job Requirements

This is a list of all the things I want my new job to have:
 * as stable and unchanging as possible. I know that all jobs have change, but I want something a bit better than now where they lay people off all the time, change responsibilities and just change shit.
 * male boss who isn't too much of an asshole
 * if he knows code, he should be good at it so I can learn from him
 * if he DOESNT know code, I will either have a tech lead who is good (and male, and not an ass) or I will be the tech lead
 * if he DOESNT know code he doesn't pretend to know it
 * he should demand quality
 * he should allow employees freedom
 * code reviews and team meetings
 * at least twice a month
 * project meetings/updates and client interaction (if applicable)
 * Project meetings
 * no silo'd work. teams meet frequently
 * No timesheets, or they keep time, but don't really give a shit about it
 * A quiet, comfortable desk, preferably in a place where there isn't a lot of traffic
 * open concept is NOT acceptable
 * no desks near kitchens or copy room
 * prefer an office but not required
 * must have at least a cube or partition walls. "Short" cubes are also NOT acceptable.
 * people need to stay the fuck out of my seat too
 * Need to be offered at least 65,000 to even consider, but won't accept less than 70,000
 * Needs to at least have some design work to qualify for the NAFTA permit
 * must have at least 3 weeks vacation and 1 week sick days
 * must have visual/dental plan
 * NO travel
 * chances for advancement
 * regular reviews/raises
 * NO working with hipsters and no creative assholes, and no fashionistas, I want everyone to be a geeky internet person, a family person, a sports geek, or a programmer
 * If the company has a party culture I'm not interested (citymax, hootsuite, zappos, etc)
 * no bullshit unpaid overtime
 * no non-compete clause or at least one that doesn't fuck me
 * no NDA
 * no "work for company stock"
 * no advertising work
 * prefer in-house clients but if the job is good I'll do agency-style clients